January 2012
7 posts
1 tag
“When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.”
– Tom Haverford, “Parks & Recreation”
atsween:
The devolution of butt crack.
My butt...
2 tags
December 2011
10 posts
2012
I’m happy and healthy. I love my job, my family, and my husband. I live a charmed life and I know it.
But my gut is telling me 2012 may be bumpy.
Like I’m flying first class, but there’s turbulence coming. And all the free food, booze, and leg room can’t stop it.
Here’s hoping my gut is wrong this time.
Tom Cruise... what?
Can someone tell me when Tom Cruise got “hot” again?
He was done. Finished. Over. He jumped on a couch and made a fool of himself. He believes in some crazy alien god. Married a Dawson who has no talent and got old.
But the man is still a badass. He does his own stunts. And “Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol” is really really good.
I don’t want to like...
I haven’t been posting a lot to this lately.
It’s cause I’ve been busy at work and stuff.
Drinkie-drinkie, Happy Christmas.
I still look the same and I’m still awesome.
Cat’s still awesome.
Husband’s still lame.
Damselesque out, motherfuckers.
Duke
Duke is gone and I’m crying like a baby.
I can’t help it. My eyes hurt.
November 2011
12 posts
To the lady who body-checked me to cross the...
Who raised you — a family of goats? What kind of person literally body-slams another person out of the way to cross the street? Most civilized people say “Excuse me, can I get by”? We’re both small women with good hair. We’re simpatico.
The difference between us is you’re a meanie-pants who likes shoving other women out of the way without even looking at them or...
Weirdness
I am the definition of detail orientated. Cut once, measure three times. So, when my landlord tells me to turn off the outdoor lights so they can trap the raccoons living in our walls — yes, that’s right — I do it. And then I check that there are no lights on outside. And then I check again.
Some time passes, I have a few glasses of wine, and I notice the lights are on outside. But I...
Monday
Today started kind of badly. I had a mini-fight with Jason (he forgot to grab my lunch from the fridge) and I was moody. It was very gray and rainy this afternoon. Work was blah.
Not a great Monday.
But, as I left work, I saw LMFAO shaking their junk and dancing their asses off. Wearing nothing more than tiny, glittering underwear. Outlining their adorable little pee-pees. LIVE.
And I knew...
WatchMy husband is a sexy sexy oh god someone save me.
Horrible self-realization
Today, I came to a sad and horrible self-realization.
I AM NOT A HIPSTER.
I went to that hipster-dress-up-site-thing and none of the outfit/hair/face options looked remotely like me.
My husband said I am too “stylish” and more of a “get a job, you dirty hippies” type.
The man knows me better than I know myself.
Mute weekend.
Jason is away on a work retreat somewhere in the Canadian Rockies this weekend. And I couldn’t be happier!
I slept in. Got a long bubble bath. Watched silly tv. Pooped with the bathroom door open.
It’s a lovely crisp fall day here in Toronto. So, I’m going to walk to the grocery store and buy snacks, then to the liquor store for booze supplies, watch scary movies, and maybe...
October 2011
6 posts
“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!”
– Dr. Peter Venkman
Watchthedailywhat:
Lights Out: Master of horror John Carpenter presents Blockhead’s Revenge — a “gritty, sexy, scary” Peanuts reboot starring the cast of MTV’s Teen Wolf.
[fod.] This is awesome.
I Hate the Subway
Before I moved back to Toronto, I romanticized the subway. So cool and so urban. Living in Nova Scotia, I guess I missed the hustle and bustle of big city public transportation. Now that I take the subway twice a day, five days a week, I have come to the realization it is one of the circles of hell. It brings out the absolute worst in people, including myself. Normally sweet, mild-mannered humans...
“It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy.”
– Steve Jobs (1985)
September 2011
9 posts
Just another day at the office.
I’m currently listening to Coldplay rehearsing outside my office building. It is raining and they are very loud. I can even hear them while I’m peeing in the bathroom.
Earlier, I sat next to a Cylon in the cafeteria.
I'm so vain
I just totally cut off my hair on a whim. It’s the shortest it’s been since I was a baby. Being a longed-haired brunette was such a part of my psyche for most of my life, I now have to readjust my self-image.
It’s good to shake things up, I think. We are more than our hair or shoes or Coach purses. Once I wrap my mind around this new, much shorter hair style, I’ll post a...
A good day
Today was a good day. Nay, a great day! Let me explain to you why in point form below. Please read on:
- My hair looks amazing.
- I wore my new faux snake-skin dress to work. It also looks amazing.
- My vacation requests for September (I’m going home to Newfoundland for my Gammy’s birthday in two weeks) and October (going to Nova Scotia to visit Jason’s family and attend a...
August 2011
10 posts
2 tags
Two dummies who baaa like sheep
This past Friday, Jason and I went to the Canadian National Exhibition. We ate, drank and rode silly rides. Alone, this is not a strange occurrence. We are big children who like to have fun. While we were there, a camera crew came up to us and asked us what sound a sheep makes. We were hanging out with the sheep and I guess we looked pretty enthused about this fact.
Cut to this morning. A...
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